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Dead Zone: Tales Of The Survivors (chapter 2: Gathering Strength Or: How I Levelled Up And Gained Morale)

fanfic DZ:TotS

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8 replies to this topic

#1
Herpderphurrdurr

Herpderphurrdurr
  • 460 posts

As promised nearly 2 weeks ago, here's chapter 2 and 3.

 

https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

 

https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

 

Open to any constructive criticism and ideas for future chapters. Next Chapter will come 2 weeks from now.

 

(posted 2 chapters because chapter 2 is quite short on it's own)


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#2
ZackMoody

ZackMoody
  • 67 posts

Thanks for the update, Herp. Constructive criticism? Maybe just break up the rivers of text into shorter paragraphs.

Usually, when two characters are talking, their lines should never be in the same paragraph. One paragraph per line. ;)


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#3
Herpderphurrdurr

Herpderphurrdurr
  • 460 posts

Thanks for the update, Herp. Constructive criticism? Maybe just break up the rivers of text into shorter paragraphs.

Usually, when two characters are talking, their lines should never be in the same paragraph. One paragraph per line. ;)

 

I'll keep that in mind for future chapters


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#4
meropo

meropo
  • 198 posts

Thanks for the update, Herp. Constructive criticism? Maybe just break up the rivers of text into shorter paragraphs.

Usually, when two characters are talking, their lines should never be in the same paragraph. One paragraph per line. ;)

Other than that I loved it. Great job. :D


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#5
True Evil

True Evil
  • 871 posts

Can't wait to read it. Just gotta deal with a bunch of assignments, crazy housemates and a leprechaun under my bed who bites my ankles.


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#6
matteofumagalli

matteofumagalli
  • 213 posts

i'm not in the position to do criticism and beside that i like your idea keep going


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#7
Herpderphurrdurr

Herpderphurrdurr
  • 460 posts

Huh... not as many people saw this post compared to the other one.


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#8
ZackMoody

ZackMoody
  • 67 posts

Maybe you should keep everything in one thread? It'll be easier for the readers to keep track of all the chapters that way.


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#9
Herpderphurrdurr

Herpderphurrdurr
  • 460 posts

Maybe you should keep everything in one thread? It'll be easier for the readers to keep track of all the chapters that way.

 

That may be a good idea, I'll start doing that for a new thread.


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