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Dead Zone: Tales Of The Survivors

fanfic DZ:TotS

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#1
Herpderphurrdurr

Herpderphurrdurr
  • 460 posts

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eemt.jpgSo I decided to heed the advice of some forum members and post my ongoing fanfic on the forum in one big post that gets updated instead of posting one every time I decide to release a chapter or two. Here are the chapters I'm releasing so far.

 

chapter 1: https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

 

chapter 2: https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

 

chapter 3: https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

 

chapter 4: https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

 

chapter 5: https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

 

chapter 6: https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

 

chapter 7: https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

 

chapter 8: https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

 

chapter 9: https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

 

chapter 10: https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

 

chapter 10.5: https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

 

chapter 11: https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

 

chapter 12: https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

 

chapter 13: https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

 

chapter 14: https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

 

chapter 15: https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

 

chapter 16: https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

 

geo5.jpg

 

chapter 17: https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

 

chapter 18: https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

 

 

This will be updated every 2 weeks or so.

 

update: with brand spankin new artwork by Korbak, expect a surprise in the story!

 

update update: Korbak randomly decided to draw a banner for the story. I put it above the chapter he first appears. Thanks buddy! (p.s you work so fast it's almost scary)

 

long-awaited status update: started work again on the story, to tide you guys over while I work to get the new chapters out, I have some pieces of work for you if anyone wants to read it:

 

First Contact (first entry for school's writing competition, worked on for a month but was rejected for being too long at 17k words long, more than 3x as long as the 5k word limit that I only found out about when they rejected it):

 https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

The Ranger (Winning entry in it's category, ~3.5k words): 

https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

If you like either of these, leave a comment! Thanks for your attention!


Edited by Herpderphurrdurr, 01 June 2014 - 11:15 AM.

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#2
ZackMoody

ZackMoody
  • 67 posts

+1. Will be reading the new Chapters after work, and I'll stay tuned for the updates two weeks from now.


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#3
Troublemaker

Troublemaker
  • 153 posts

Thank you. Will read.


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#4
Vukun

Vukun
  • 4 posts

Good read nicely done


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#5
MaxSheen

MaxSheen
  • 2,649 posts

make a novel out of it and make $$$$$$$


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#6
Herpderphurrdurr

Herpderphurrdurr
  • 460 posts

make a novel out of it and make $$$$$$$

 

make a novel out of a game series that belongs to CAG and earn money from it without their permission? not gonna happen


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#7
ZackMoody

ZackMoody
  • 67 posts

Just read the newest updates. Interesting developments with the new characters.

My only gripe? The looong paragraphs. XD


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#8
LPGD

LPGD
  • 1,224 posts

Make an account on Fanfiction.net and post it there. It's a great place for fanfiction authors.


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#9
matteofumagalli

matteofumagalli
  • 213 posts

very good keep writing, i love the new chapter 


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#10
MaxSheen

MaxSheen
  • 2,649 posts


make a novel out of a game series that belongs to CAG and earn money from it without their permission? not gonna happen


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#11
MaxSheen

MaxSheen
  • 2,649 posts

make a novel out of a game series that belongs to CAG and earn money from it without their permission? not gonna happen



Well as long as it does not follow any story line of Con's you are A OK. I think.................…
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#12
ZackMoody

ZackMoody
  • 67 posts

Well as long as it does not follow any story line of Con's you are A OK. I think.................…

 

Nope, if you mention "Union City," "Dead Zone," and other names trademarked by Con Artists, your fan fiction immediately belongs to them.

If they find out you're making money out of it, they can sue. >_<


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#13
RoxyWyvern

RoxyWyvern
  • 89 posts

Looking forward to the next update! A big fan of zombie novels, not enough of them in my opinion. 


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#14
Chili

Chili
  • 216 posts

Like it. You get my +1


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#15
Aya Malevonaire

Aya Malevonaire
  • 94 posts

I have an important question to ask, are you really making a literature work of a zombie apocalypse setting based on the universe from Con's works? Or, are you make a literature of a game, where you want your readers to perceive a game and believe it more close to a RPG?

 

Because it's really leaning towards the later.

 

I don't see character intros, I see more of character spreadsheets. You may as well stop and turn this into a RPG and give your characters to some actor. This is a poor and short way to be introducing characters to be honest. Please do not tell me the technical stuff right off the bat like a textbook, the elemental aspect of literature is destroyed in that instant and we're looking at playing a game instead. The Author's notes are A-ok, but it's the equipment set inventory and you even go as far to write down the behavior of a character?

 

No! Don't tell us EVERYTHING, show us. Writing is about more showing and less telling, and if you get real good you can decide when to tell, when to show and even when to do both at the same time. To first help you out, I should recommend you listening to 'We're Alive! A Story of Survival'. Similar themes but it's on radio and no visual to distract you. When you listen by ear, and get  a picture in your head, the magic of writing works in that same way. The characters portrayed here maybe stereotype'd but at least they're executed nicely and we know how everyone works and reacts, based on the emotions and dialogue alone, and with it, a point of character development can be identified without you having to tell so.

 

This is also just the first part that needs work. There's also a few others, but I'll tell you more some other time.


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#16
Herpderphurrdurr

Herpderphurrdurr
  • 460 posts

I have an important question to ask, are you really making a literature work of a zombie apocalypse setting based on the universe from Con's works? Or, are you make a literature of a game, where you want your readers to perceive a game and believe it more close to a RPG?

 

Because it's really leaning towards the later.

 

I don't see character intros, I see more of character spreadsheets. You may as well stop and turn this into a RPG and give your characters to some actor. This is a poor and short way to be introducing characters to be honest. Please do not tell me the technical stuff right off the bat like a textbook, the elemental aspect of literature is destroyed in that instant and we're looking at playing a game instead. The Author's notes are A-ok, but it's the equipment set inventory and you even go as far to write down the behavior of a character?

 

No! Don't tell us EVERYTHING, show us. Writing is about more showing and less telling, and if you get real good you can decide when to tell, when to show and even when to do both at the same time. To first help you out, I should recommend you listening to 'We're Alive! A Story of Survival'. Similar themes but it's on radio and no visual to distract you. When you listen by ear, and get  a picture in your head, the magic of writing works in that same way. The characters portrayed here maybe stereotype'd but at least they're executed nicely and we know how everyone works and reacts, based on the emotions and dialogue alone, and with it, a point of character development can be identified without you having to tell so.

 

This is also just the first part that needs work. There's also a few others, but I'll tell you more some other time.

 

Just so you know, the meatier stuff is coming, the writer's notes is just a way to keep track of changes. It's not a character spreadsheet. Constructive criticism is always welcome though, I'll try to remember what you say and wait for a more comprehensive review of my work.


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#17
Aya Malevonaire

Aya Malevonaire
  • 94 posts

Glad to hear about better content coming along but it could still fail if handled poorly in execution. Just, try to avoid writing stuff down like as if you're gamemaster of some tabletop roleplaying game. If you must in order as a guideline, keep a notepad on a separate sheet we can't see but can still expect.

 

An example is if you tell us your character was an ex-soldier. We automatically imagine someone badass in combat fatigues and has all means to fight from knives to assault rifles, maybe old, maybe disgruntled (likely on how became an ex), well disciplined and objective and either shy or anti-social. All these details however, you don't need to write down, you can show us by, as an example, having him pit against a horde solo and survive but he has difficulty trusting people he meets. Or better yet, use this as opportunity for your characters to ask his backstory, have one your other chars act as an analogue of us, the audience (it's why some movies have rookies/idiots in them to ask questions)

 

We're the audience, we like to be drawn to your characters and sympathized with them or better yet, care about them. They don't need to be nice, just someone we could relate to like a real person. Once you got those down, the plot is the next focus.

 

Oh and you also need to rework the dialogue too, you shouldn't be as stressed to writing more pages per chapter (unless you worry about publishing costs when writing becomes a career). The common 'he/she said' system works but it gets old fast. So don't mind if it turns into a sinew string of sentences; we will get a better idea who is talking to who instead text block full of double dashes. Here's an glimpse of an ideal dialogue format with know who is who.

 

Alice looks out to the window and sighs, "I wonder when dinner will be ready."

 

There's a few knocks on the door to her room, catching her attention away from the dripping raindrops outside, "Alice it's time to eat."

 

Having heard Mom called her out, Alice jumps up in glee and hurries to the door.

 

However, one glance to her daughter, stops her from going downstairs. She then points her to the bathroom.

 

"I've told you to wash while I was preparing dinner, look at you!

 

Your hands are covered in filth.

 

Your dress is a mess.

 

You're completely drenched in sweat

 

And your breath, ugh! Just get into the bathroom already!"

 

"Listen to your Mom sweetie," came a manly voice downstairs.

 

Even her dad was getting ahead of her, who usually got leftovers due to his work overtime. There was no point arguing with both her parents; they were right.

With a gruff, she stomps her way to get herself cleaned.

 

 

As an added bonus, I also introduced to you, 'The List style' Where a character speaks several lines in row as if giving a public audience speech in a political campaign but doesn't have to limit in that direction. Alternately, you could use non-verbal communication in between to break redundancy flow of dialogue.


Edited by Aya Malevonaire, 17 May 2013 - 03:47 PM.

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#18
Herpderphurrdurr

Herpderphurrdurr
  • 460 posts

Glad to hear about better content coming along but it could still fail if handled poorly in execution. Just, try to avoid writing stuff down like as if you're gamemaster of some tabletop roleplaying game. If you must in order as a guideline, keep a notepad on a separate sheet we can't see but can still expect.

 

An example is if you tell us your character was an ex-soldier. We automatically imagine someone badass in combat fatigues and has all means to fight from knives to assault rifles, maybe old, maybe disgruntled (likely on how became an ex), well disciplined and objective and either shy or anti-social. All these details however, you don't need to write down, you can show us by, as an example, having him pit against a horde solo and survive but he has difficulty trusting people he meets. Or better yet, use this as opportunity for your characters to ask his backstory, have one your other chars act as an analogue of us, the audience (it's why some movies have rookies/idiots in them to ask questions)

 

We're the audience, we like to be drawn to your characters and sympathized with them or better yet, care about them. They don't need to be nice, just someone we could relate to like a real person. Once you got those down, the plot is the next focus.

 

Oh and you also need to rework the dialogue too, you shouldn't be as stressed to writing more pages per chapter (unless you worry about publishing costs when writing becomes a career). The common 'he/she said' system works but it gets old fast. So don't mind if it turns into a sinew string of sentences; we will get a better idea who is talking to who instead text block full of double dashes. Here's an glimpse of an ideal dialogue format with know who is who.

 

Alice looks out to the window and sighs, "I wonder when dinner will be ready."

 

There's a few knocks on the door to her room, catching her attention away from the dripping raindrops outside, "Alice it's time to eat."

 

Having heard Mom called her out, Alice jumps up in glee and hurries to the door.

 

However, one glance to her daughter, stops her from going downstairs. She then points her to the bathroom.

 

"I've told you to wash while I was preparing dinner, look at you!

 

Your hands are covered in filth.

 

Your dress is a mess.

 

You're completely drenched in sweat

 

And your breath, ugh! Just get into the bathroom already!"

 

"Listen to your Mom sweetie," came a manly voice downstairs.

 

Even her dad was getting ahead of her, who usually got leftovers due to his work overtime. There was no point arguing with both her parents; they were right.

With a gruff, she stomps her way to get herself cleaned.

 

 

As an added bonus, I also introduced to you, 'The List style' Where a character speaks several lines in row as if giving a public audience speech in a political campaign but doesn't have to limit in that direction. Alternately, you could use non-verbal communication in between to break redundancy flow of dialogue.

 

Chapters after 4 does have these things. I have actually decided to keep things slightly vague regarding the two main characters. The other characters would have a more solid backstory.


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#19
Dead Generations

Dead Generations
  • 1,076 posts

Very good fanfics, I don't usually read things like this, I'll give you some rep when I can!


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#20
Herpderphurrdurr

Herpderphurrdurr
  • 460 posts

New chapters posted as promised.


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